Ever thought of running your own business?

Have you wondered who you might go into a partnership with?

If you have, then here is one clinching factor that always seems to determine whether or not I end up with them.

Do what you said you were going to do. Always.

I find that those who value that principle are of a rare breed. Today's generation tends to make excuses, show up late and delay work. Some people promise the world and never follow through. I'm guilty of it sometimes too. Some of us say we'll be there and never make it. This isn't supposed to be a depressing article about how unreliable we are, it's a challenge for us to become more reliable.

If you're watching what you say because you know you will be held accountable, it's a lot easier to underpromise what you're going to do, and then overdeliver/exceed other people's expectations. This is, of course, in direct contrast to people who over-promise and under deliver.

We find that the biggest reason we don't do what we say we are going to do is because we don't feel like it. Doing a project can be pushed off by choosing to go to a party or choosing to stay at home to watch tv. Relationships and friendships can be moved to the forefront over work or school because it's the easy way out.

Albert Gray said it best: "The most successful people form the habits of doing the things that unsuccessful people don't like to do."

Having a person who sticks to their commitments is one of the strongest assets you can have on any team, whether it's work, sports or school group projects.

The question then, is the following:

Do you always do what you said you were going to do? 

Self-confidence is a good thing to have...right?

Perhaps. After all, we both respect and look up to those who have a strong sense of who they are, because not many people do.

Recently, it has been brought to my attention that there is a significant difference between two types of self-confidence/assurance: self-esteem and self-ego.

Consider these two individuals: Bill and Josh.

Bill and Josh are both charismatic, easy-going, and secure about themselves. In social settings, they can hold conversation and make friends easily. Both have a multitude of life experiences that they regularly draw upon and can relate to others with, including traveling, relationships, work and school. For people discussing their first impression of Bill or Josh afterwards, they would always mention that both were really cool, chill guys who seemed sure of themselves. Description words used to describe the two guys would include charismatic, outstanding, memorable, and positive. While not necessarily always the center of attention in a group, Bill and Josh are able to hold their weight, contributing when they want to, uninhibited of social pressure.

Bill was raised in an upper-middle class family, and has never worried about food, housing, or paying the bills. He is on the executive board of a student organization and holds a spot on the Dean's List. He keeps healthy by exercising often and maintaining a balanced diet. His lifestyle is one of comfort, but not of excess. He travels regularly on holidays with his family, goes shopping whenever he feels like it, and always snags a daily Starbucks to help him stay awake in class. He works hard, having finished a co-op internship from a family friend overseas, and although his parents pay for his rooming and tuition, he pays for the rest of his expenses by himself.

Josh is exactly the same.

The only difference is how the two guys see themselves and the world.

Bill's self-confidence and level of comfort comes from what he has accomplished (Dean's List, travel, family ties) and what he has (money, car, exec role) in constant comparison of himself to others. He feels a sense of entitlement because he has worked hard to get where he is, and is unapologetic for his levels of success. He views himself as an outstanding individual, considering that this is what he has been told the past few years from others.

Josh, on the other hand, has a self-confidence that stems from himself, what he values and what his personality traits are. His self-worth is intrinsic as opposed to extrinsic; he does not feel better or worse about himself when looking at others. He views the world and humanity with an openness. He embraces change and is indifferent to social conditioning. He knows who he is and his actions do not change in different social environments/settings.

Are you more like Bill or Josh? Are you defining your identity in comparison with other people? I posit that it is far better to work towards having a sense of self-esteem that is stronger than a sense of your self-ego. Don't mistake me, I am not saying to not develop your self-ego, but instead to watch out for how prominent it becomes in your attitude towards society. A overinflated self-ego can cause arrogance, entitlement, and bitterness toward society.

Takeaway Concepts
Self-esteem: having a strong sense of identity, based on what you value, who you are, regardless of social conditioning and materialistic ownership.
Self-ego: having a strong sense of identity, based on who you are/what you have (status, power, money, cars, materialistic, friends)/what you've accomplished (winning, results/past performance). 

I had finally come to that point. A university student's nightmare. I had conquered college through gaining exponential experiences, leader titles, and personal exploration, and now it had all come down to this.

It hit me in the portrait studio.

I was graduating.

I was actually here, getting my graduation pictures. Oh. My. God. What will I do? Where will I go? Where will I work? I thought I had a plan, a career, everything set out, but is that what I really wanted?

Over the past two weeks, I've been messing a lot with notions of 'growing up and getting a job.' To be completely honest, it scared me immensely. There were so many unknowns. Looking back on my decision in September to make my motto for the next 12 months 'pursue excellence', I wanted to make sure I hit everything I had worked so hard for throughout my 5 years of university. After all, I had beefed my resume up to get a über-awesome starting salary. And pursue excellence I did, and will continue to do, as today marks the 1st of the New Year.

But then that quote hit me - "growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.'

I only live once, so why focus on conquering a career so immensely that I miss everything else?

I came up with a secondary motto that works beside the one of 'pursue excellence'

The secondary motto is... *drum roll*....."GO BANANAS!!!"

I want this year to be CRAZAYYYYYY, full of fun and completely nuts. I want to do things I've never done, learn more from everybody I encounter, EMBRACE everything and keep on growing as a person, while HAVING THE MOST FUN OF MY LIFE.

________________________________

The last idea to cement this phantasmagorical year together is to go for picture perfect.

We all have ideal pictures in our head of the way things should be, how we want things to happen, from first kisses to precise live performances to perfect ski & snowboard runs. We dream, and man, do we dream big.

For me, I just came to the reasonable conclusion, that if I'm picturing something, I should make things happen the way I see it, without self-doubt or fear. I should be EXCITEEEDDDDDDDDDDD =D

It is what it is, but it is what we make it too.

I have a strong feeling that my year is going to be picture perfect, what's your 2012 looking like? 

It was a Sunday, and i was on my way to  church. The weather was nice out, sunny rays of light splitting through the car windshield. December was here, marking a -2 degrees Celsius on the thermometer. I parked my car and rushed in, 1minute before we started, and looked for my preferred spot on the left hand side of the auditorium.

There it was, empty.
The seat by the air vent. Oh, so sweet. =P
It was a seat of comfort and warmth, gently blasting a gust of hot air at my body. This was welcomed, especially with the winter wonderland outside. I sat back, pulled out my Bible, and relaxed, listening to the pastor preach. The heat was so nice...

20 minutes later, I dozed off.
If you asked me, I wouldn't be able to tell you what the preacher spoke about. I glanced at my Bible, it lay on my lap open at Deuteronomy, the first chapter we looked at that day.

All the value that I would have received by staying awake was lost because I chose to be comfortable. Multiply that over time and that's a lot of lost messages.

I find we do that a lot in class, in work, in life. We go with the best intentions, but often fail to follow up being present. Take, for instance, a university class. You go to university, choose classes that you think you'll like, and then go to those classes. All for the purpose of higher education. Yet at the same time, we pull out our laptops and lack the discipline to stay on topic in class. We surf the web, go on Facebook, check our email, and so on. Sitting by the vent could mean the difference between being physically present and mentally present.

I find that the best days I have are the days that I am learning something new, adding to my knowledge about the world/life. Other days pass by with nothing gained, but time lost.

Are you sitting by the vent?

I figure there are two ways your actions play out in life. With the first way, you have a bucket of water. You push your fist in, and take it out. This represents your actions in life. The bucket of water represents the world that we live in. When you fist-punch the water in the bucket, it creates ripples. The ripples can spread, depending on how hard or fast you punch it. The ripples represent the impact that you've had on the water, or the impact your actions have on the world.

The second way your actions can play out are with a lump of moldable plaster or clay. If you push your hand into the clay, you're left with a handprint. Duh. Likewise, if clay was the world, and your hand is your actions in life, you'd leave an impact on the world.

Both scenarios contain the same analogy, with one difference. In the first case with the water bucket, when you remove your hand, ripples spread, but then they disappear. Your efforts can be doubled, tripled, and even last a lifetime, but you won't leave a lasting impression in the bucket of water after you're done punching the water. There won't be any impact. With the moldable clay, you leave an impression even after you're gone.

With your current daily actions in life, are you spending time In the bucket of water or with clay?

Kick your bucket habits, and go with Playdoh instead ;)

960 months.

If you were to live to 80 years old, that's how many months you have. It's approximately 27,000 days.

960.

If I have a choice everyday to write out what that day will be, and a limited number of days, you bet that I will live everyday as if it's my last.

My blind father passed away at the age of 58 from cancer, but before he died, he told me this: 'Jay, there are only two things you can't do as a blind person. You can't drive and you can't become a surgeon.'

He was the most humble down-to-earth person I've had in my life, and he vigorously pursued each day with the intent to discover more about himself and the world.

I can only hope I do the same.

What will you do with your 960?